go with the flow

2010-06-28T04:39:00.002+08:00

Top Five Reasons Why I Love Facebook

1. Friends that you barely know will invite you to go to their family’s events that probably hundred miles away from where you stay. People just invite everyone to everything.

Bro, you should come to my home this coming Monday. My mother has organized my birthday party and asked me to invite all my friends in facebook. Though we haven’t met before, I believe we can be best friends. By the way I stayed in Langkawi and it’s just 235 kilometers from where you are staying (hehe I noticed from your profile that you stayed in Puchong).

2. There are lots of considerate friends that will tell you what stages or levels they are now on their favorite games.

You should join Maria Mariana’s tribe on Boyfriend War. She has just killed another boyfriend by throwing her favorite stilettos to her boyfriend’s left kidney. She is now at her personal best, Level 2.

3. Sensitive friends with lots of empathy will help you to tag pictures of you doing almost anything. It feels good when my ex-girlfriends or bosses can see me stumbled over the edge of the carpet or had mayonnaise all over my favorite shirts at my work place. It feels really good. Thanks friends.

4. Very caring friends will also tag you on the pictures that have got nothing to do with you.

Hi love, I tagged this picture because the alligator really reminds me of you. Yours, Maya Karin

5. There are also very friendly friends that will follow you around facebook. You can always count on them on giving valuable comments on everything that you do. You should count yourself lucky to have them in your life.

OMG You are so funny man. Has anyone ever told you that? By the way, I totally agreed with what you just said. I believe you have done a lot of research and soul finding before you said those words. Bravo. You are the man.

And I have not touch about quizzes in facebook yet. They have lots of informative quizzes. One very good example, What kind of camel are you? Love it.

2010-06-14T13:38:00.004+08:00

I wanna be a pink rose when I grow up.

2010-06-13T07:04:00.002+08:00

Sofea Jane* is the new Black’s single. The new song has a great melody and lyrics but there is no single indication of Sofea Jane’s name been mentioned in the lyrics.

“This is something new,” said the husband that like Sofea Jane a little bit too much.

“What do you mean dear,” said the lovely wife.

“I will write one song and will give Siti Nurhaliza** the same privilege,” said the husband, “but I believe Datuk K will not fancy it and will do something to stop this nonsense.”

“He don’t have to do that dear,” said the wife.

“Why b?” the husband now felt that the wife has shielded some information from him.

“You better not my dear,” said the wife with her blouse’s sleeves now rolls up.

* Pan Asian artist that was so popular during 90s.

** Popular artist, married to Datuk K. Not a Pan Asian. Present Tense.

2010-06-09T16:09:00.001+08:00

It’s hard to know exactly where to begin. But first let me briefly update you guys what’s been happening to me for the past three years.

My son, Ahmad Firdaus, now five-years old wants to be called Moshahi. I blamed Ultraman’s creator for this misconception. He always cracks jokes and has evolved to watch more mature programmed on the TV. No more Thomas and Friends or Jim Jam Sunny and he choose to watch Power Rangers or Ultraman Cosmos instead. Though the father never fancied men in thighs, he unfortunately has to move along with his son’s obsession.

I now got a daughter by the name of Farah Nuradlina. She looks exactly like her father and blessed with her mother’s attitudes. She is now 1 year-and-half and knows how to get her father’s attention. She will simply scream on top of her lungs or stay at one corner sulking for nothing. Her father simply adores her.

The missus is now pregnant and expected to deliver in three months time. Although her husband sincerely likes the Kardashian sisters for their huge talents, he also felt that his wife is the prettiest lady in Puchong.

2007-06-15T12:24:00.000+08:00

I’m one of those people who thought that Spiderman 3 was a masterpiece. Brilliantly crafted and full with villains. I personally like the Sandman character. I thought he was extremely cool.

My son thought otherwise though. He doesn’t want to watch it and persistently asking me to play Shrek 3 instead. I had to watch it while he’s sleeping.

Son: Ayah, Shrek.
Dad: After this please, ayah want to watch this.
Son: Shrek (while raising his voice).
Dad: Ok, ok.
Son: Bye bye Spiderman 3 (while waving and smiling at the TV screen).

Bye bye Mary Jane Watson. I will always love you.

2007-05-19T04:45:00.000+08:00

In 3 weeks time, my son will celebrate his 2 years birthday. With his current obsession, finding his birthday present will be an easy task.

For the past one week he will ask me to play his favorite DVD, Spider-man 2. He will laugh non stop every time he saw the Spiderman doing his thing. He’ll imitate all the actions in the movie and wants me to play along with him, which I ‘politely’ declined. He wants to save the world and think that the spider should bite him instead of Peter Parker.

His obsession received two different responses from his parents.

His mother thinks that he’s cute but seriously thought of buying another TV for herself.

His father thinks MJ’s kinda cute and should wear a bra.

2007-05-18T19:06:00.000+08:00

If an individual wants to be a leader and isn't
controversial, that means he never stood for anything. -
Richard Nixon

2006-06-01T11:11:00.000+08:00

I loved the The Da Vinci Code’s trailer but that shouldn’t count. The Matrix sequels’ trailer was awesome, the movies unfortunately was not. That said, this movie was by Brian Grazer and I knew he could make series as good as “24”. However, I also know that he can make movies as good as the Nutty Professor sequel.

I should just reserve my comments then. I like the book too much (that plus Tom Hanks).

2006-05-24T16:36:00.000+08:00

I have a confession to make.

I honestly think that Misha Omar is a great singer.

2006-05-24T13:56:00.000+08:00

World Cup 2006

World Cup is just around the corner. We don’t have to be a rocket scientist to know that Brazil is one of the favorites. If one day there’s power problems on earth, Roberto Carlos alone could power the entire world by running on a treadmill for the rest of his life. He’s super fit. Damn fit. With Ronaldinho (the most overrated player in the world not called Beckham) that constantly defy all laws of logic and Ronaldo that can be the best striker in the world, the cup is theirs.

My money is on England, they got Beckham don’t they.

2006-03-09T10:19:00.001+08:00

My colleague asks me on my opinion of current hike in oil price.

‘What’s your opinion kawan?’
‘Tapi ini berguna atok, atok tahu tak pada kelajuan melebihi 160 km/j sebuah kereta formula 1 boleh menghasilkan daya tekanan menyamai berat kereta itu sendiri. Ini bermakna sebuah kereta formula 1 boleh dipandu secara terbalik dan melekat pada permukaan bumbung sebuah terowong.’
‘You are one crazy man.’
‘Saya rasa baik atok jangan naik kereta formula 1.’

There’s a time when it’s better to keep my big mouth shut.

This is one of those times.

Talking about the price’s hike, there’s one cartoon by Reggie Lee, featured in The Star (March 8, 2006), that captured my attention.

Hawker: What’s the complaint about a 30 sen increase in a bowl of noodles? Malaysia still has one of the lowest hawker food prices in the region.
Customer (look impressed): Wa, where you learn to speak like dat one?

2006-03-09T09:56:00.000+08:00

I’ve made a mistake.

In yesterday’s entry, I promise I saw the word Astronaut, instead of Astronomer.

My wrong, it won’t happen again.

2006-03-08T14:49:00.000+08:00

Do you guys know the song that Ben sang to Liz in Armageddon? Leaving On A Jet Plane by Peter, Paul and Marry. Can you guys sing that song in your head while reading this entry?

I scored 142 on Tickle’s Classic IQ test and the report suggested a few careers in which I could excel:

1. Physicists
2. Chess player
3. City planner
4. Astronomer
5. Mathematician
6. Researcher

There you go. I’m destined to be a spaceman.

Thank you very much. I know i can be a jerk sometime.

Overexposed ...

2006-02-17T10:47:00.000+08:00

Overexposed ...
Originally uploaded by faizall.

and proud of it.

This picture was taken during our holiday in PD. Didn't manage to go to 'The Folio' though.

I Want To Shout!

2006-02-16T15:22:00.000+08:00

I, Scream
Originally uploaded by faizall.

I’m such a lucky man. This picture of mine, ‘I, Scream’, just managed to be in ‘The Folio’. The result was 10 Save to 9 Delete votes. That was really close.

Please click at the thumbnail to see my battle scars.

2006-01-16T11:19:00.000+08:00

“Damn hungry. Let’s go for lunch mate,” my colleague asking me to go out, and it’s only 11 am.
“I’m not that hungry. You go first man,” I don’t want to go out.
“My boss use to say that unproductive person rarely feels hungry,” he tried to be funny.
“Huh,” I tried to be funny.
“Productive person are always hungry.” He’s damn hungry.
“Huh.” Obviously, I’m not.
“Never mind,” he gave up.

I got a new talent. Selective hearing.

2006-01-06T11:05:00.000+08:00

After much thought (as much as I would like to see Maya Karin in the red undies), I take back what I’ve wrote yesterday.

Brandon Routh looks the part more than her.

2006-01-05T15:09:00.000+08:00

Though Maya Karin is one hot lady and just came second as the prettiest vampire of all time (it was a close fight between her and Maria Menado, she lost), I’m yet to watch her performed in Pontianak Harum Sundal Malam 2. I don’t know why. I don’t feel like watching the movie. Usually the sequels are worse than its predecessor and that’s really bugs me.

Pontianak Harum Sundal Malam was a mediocre movie.

The only thing that excites me in that movie is watching Maya Karin’s flying scenes. She radiates and really looks good when she flies. I think Dan Henderson should consider putting her as a main role in their next movie, Superman Returns (2006).

I bet she’s gonna look good in the red undies.

2006-01-03T12:33:00.000+08:00

I learned my lesson. No more big breasted women for me this New Year’s Eve.

Nonetheless, Zeta Jones’ wannabe, Malaysia’s second astronaut and I would like to wish you guys a Happy 2006. Be good.

2005-12-29T09:51:00.000+08:00

2005 – A Journey To Remember

1. I’ve met and work with Chris in one project. He is the most brilliant man I’ve ever known. He reminds me of Charlie Croker, a character played by Mark Wahlberg in ‘Italian Job’.
2. For a few years now, we celebrated my wife’s 23rd birthday. It was a fun occasion.
3. Go to Penang if you want to put on weight. You wouldn't be dissapointed.
4. My best friend, Aida, married to her prince charming. It’s a marriage made from heaven.
5. Went to Kuching with my wife. We bought ourselves world’s longest mat.
6. Firdaus (my son) was born two months earlier from his due date. He’s being held in the hospital for almost two weeks for lung’s infection and jaundice. His mother managed to know all the patients in the ward. His father, on another hand managed to know all the nurses.
7. Since the hospital is ‘father friendly’, I managed to be in the labor room to hold her hand through out the process.
8. I lost my father. He’s the most selfless man I’ve known and I miss him so much.
9. My sister gave birth to a beautiful baby boy. His name is Amirul.
10. Firdaus voted as world’s greatest.
11. I went to Dubai for five days. I learned that their desert safari’s trip includes belly dancing as part of their program. Make promise to the wife to bring her on the next trip. Peak of my trip; I rode camels a thousand times.
12. Somebody broke in my house. Among other things, he took away my cameras and laptop. Though I made a habit of backing up all my works into the pen drive, it won’t save me from losing all my works this time. The pen drive was in the laptop’s bag. Luckily he only took with him my digital cameras and left the film camera behind.
13. My wife also lost all her gold jewelries to the same thief. Unfortunately, ‘pearl’ was her theme on that day. She wore her pearl’s set to work and left all her gold behind.
14. My mother got herself a driving license and then bought a car. I will never think this is possible this time last year; she always is the one who will scream on top of her lung whenever there are passing vehicles approaching our car. Mak, I’m so proud of you.
15. After 28 years occupying the house, my mother moved out from my late father’s quarters. It was an emotional day for us.
16. My wife slept while driving to work. Luckily she’s a good driver and nothing bad had happened to her. It was an emotional day for her.

Fuhh, what a year.

2005-12-23T10:43:00.000+08:00

Not That Beautiful

Out of curiosity, yesterday and for the past couple of weeks I watched Malaysia’s Most Beautiful.

In search of true beauty, 8TV recently launched this new reality program. Out of 1000 women that went for the audition, 15 beauties were chosen to vie for the title. They were selected by panel of judges comprising photographer Tate Ghazi, former Miss Malaysia Yasmin Yusoff and R&B queen Sheila Majid. Throughout the competition, the contestants are required to undergo tests related to their inner and outer beauty, both on the professional and social level.

After watching these 3 episodes, I think the judges have made a wrong decision. These beauties didn’t do justice for Malaysian women. Other than their good looks, they are far from beautiful. There’s too many cat fights, lying and backstabbing. If the looks, intelligence, personality and confidence are being used as the main criteria for the selection, they only excel in the looks department. How about the next three criteria? I personally think that it’s more important than the first one.

The scariest thing is, being showed in Malaysia, I knew* Jessy will be crowned the first Malaysia’s Most Beautiful.

* As the winner will be decided by the public via SMS in the final episode.

2005-12-22T15:04:00.000+08:00

Thank you so much for picking these as your favorites in my flickr account.

I owed you one. You guys rock.

2005-12-22T12:42:00.000+08:00

Mother and son - Sleeping
Originally uploaded by faizall.

I’m such a fortunate man. I couldn’t ask for more.

2005-12-21T17:23:00.000+08:00

On TV last Sunday, one motivator (Elly’s* brother in law) said that if we want to succeed, we need to have a living idol. As much as possible try to get an idol that’s currently have the same occupation that we wanted to be. Example, if we want to be a great striker, then our idol must be Thierry Henry or Ibrahimovic** and not Shalin Zulkifli or Sapok Biki***. He also suggested that we paste/hang our idol’s picture on the wall. According to him, we will be more motivated this way.

Okay. I hate to say this but I agreed with him.

I once pasted Sofea Jane’s (local actress) picture on my wall. Under that picture, I wrote ‘If you want to marry her, then stop playing and start preparing for the exam’.

Thanks to Sofea, I can say that I did quite well on that year’s examination.

* Elly’s Mencari Cinta
** Who I’d say is probably the best striker who isn’t a Brazilian or King Henry.
*** The former is a local bowler. The latter is(was?) a boxer. Both have my respect.

2005-12-21T16:44:00.000+08:00

With my updates almost to nothingness, it’s touching to see that I’m still getting the same amount of visitors each month. With that, I promise that I will not let this site go under.

2005-09-21T11:18:00.000+08:00

Curiosity did kill the cat.

As much as I thought that the new reality TV, ‘Mencari Cinta’, was so lame, I kept on watching it. Though the show is currently running on a very tight budget (I really feel for the participants. It looks like everything did come from their own pocket), Elly Zakaria’s quest on searching her life partner is certainly not to be missed. It is also ironical that the show is being hosted by 40-something-love-searching-Abby-Fana.

Last night, my personal favorite, Abang Long was being eliminated.

‘Abang Long should have won the show.’
‘What?’
‘I think that Abang Long should have won, he is matured and cool.’
‘Come on. For once, let her decide on her life partner.’
‘But dear, I want to choose for her. She clearly couldn’t decide. I think, by now, she should have known who she wants to marry.’
‘Go ahead, be her family then.’

Okay, for the past few weeks, her family is the one who made all the decisions. I think she prefer it to be that way. For the next 2 episodes (if she still couldn’t make up her mind), I would like to see her friends, colleagues, neighbors or even 3 millions viewers to make the final decision. This could be done through SMS, and I bet this gonna be fun.

Talking about SMS, the quality of Malaysian Idol this season was so bad that even Paul Moss appearances couldn’t save the show. I think if one day, the producer decides to put Fantasia Barrino (the winner of American Idol 3) side-by-side with Daniel, our Daniel will won single-handedly.

Malaysians, I thank you for a job well done.

Lipsticks-wearing camel

2005-09-13T10:03:00.000+08:00

2005-09-09T11:31:00.000+08:00

Dubai's desert
Originally uploaded by faizall.

Dubai is the place where everybody seems to be from somewhere else. Even their belly dancers came from Russia and Lebanon. Take a walk on their streets and you can see all the familiar faces. Spend your time in their Carrefour’s and you will experience nothing new. It is just like being in one of our Carrefour’s.

Nonetheless, I really enjoyed my trip there. It is just like being in Malaysia, minus the rains and grasses.

What I have learned from my trip to Dubai

1. If you think their Desert Safari’s trip include a lot of wildlife and jeeps, you will be disappointed.
2. However, the Paris – Dakar Rally's experience and belly dancing is included in their Desert Safari’s itinerary. Just remember to put on your seatbelts.
3. Their water is really hot at this time of the year. The ‘Cold’ and ‘Hot’ signs don’t make any difference.
4. Seems like everybody can speak English.
5. To enter Burj Al Arab, you need to pay AED 200 (approximately MYR 200). This will get you as far as their lobby.
6. Bye bye giraffes, camels already has taken your place in my heart.

2005-08-11T15:08:00.000+08:00

Track and field athletes are currently competing in Helsinki for World Track Championships. My wife made those statements yesterday.

1) They should have made bigger gap between those lines (on the track). It’s not wide enough even for us to run on it.
2) That’s the reason I didn’t foresee myself doing any short distance events. I will surely run onto my competitor’s lane.
3) Worst case scenario, I will run over them.
4) Hey, they shouldn’t use starting pistol (in the first place). It increases the probability of runners making a mistake.
5) That’s another reason why I didn’t foresee myself doing any short distance events. It will surely increase my blood pressure.
6) Can I have those shoes dear?

Thanks to her, now, running on the track is not as easy as before.

My life would never be the same again.

2005-08-10T14:44:00.000+08:00

Having delivered our first child, my wife is entitled for a maternity leave for couple of months. By being at home, the privilege of checking her mailbox was taken away from her. And I’ve been blessed ever since.

Last Monday, she started working.

And guess what’s in my mailbox that morning.

Fwd: Dato’ K???*

I should have seen this coming.

* Mystery man that is currently being associated with Malaysian pop idol, Siti Nurhaliza

Firdaus Voted World’s Greatest

2005-08-01T10:05:00.000+08:00

Firdaus with his mommy
Originally uploaded by faizall.

1. His hair is blonde. People always ask whether it’s natural. It is.
2. He is moody, just like his father. Okay, this coming from his mother.
3. He likes to go out, just like his mother. Every time we went out, he slept.
4. He spends most of his time sleeping. When his parents try to sleep, he wakes up. Crying.
5. He will cry on top of his lung every time he is near water. Someone with guts as big as an elephant is needed to give him a bath.
6. His father has a BIG plan for him. To be the second Malaysian to go to outer space. The first spot has already been taken.
7. He can only sleep when the light is on. Hence, his father already put this on his reminder:
Make sure to pay the bills on time. Or else?
8. He likes classical music. He will stop crying whenever he hears one in the background. His father once tried to watch Mr. and Mrs. Smith, thus he stopped the music. Both of them cried.
9. He thinks Angelina Jolie is sexy. Um, actually his father is the one who’s having that thought.

Pop Quiz:
In the picture above, what scares him the most?
a) Camera’s flash.
b) His mother’s hair.

Sorry dear, I just couldn't help it.

2005-07-29T16:58:00.000+08:00

Chris wanted to buy a car. Honda City 1.5 VTEC. Since he is a foreigner, he needs some help during the negotiation process. Hence, my boss and I accompanied him to Honda’s showroom.

Chris: I think this is a good buy.
Boss: I don’t really like the color. Too bright.
Me: I’m loving it.
Boss: Don’t you think the color is so feminine.
Me: I don’t know about the color, but I think this is the ladies’ car. What do you reckon Puan?
Boss: I still don’t like the color.
Chris: I shouldn’t bring you guys in the first place.

For the record, he bought that sexy car. Now, he is our favorite chauffeur.

Message to Chris:
Since you’ve already paid for the car, I got one small request. Please leave that car with me once you decided to go to another country. I’ll take good care of her.

Please.

2005-07-19T12:08:00.000+08:00

Here are the two reasons why I’m marrying my wife.

Reason # 1

Me: Instead of going to Europe, for a change, let’s go to Syria or Jordan. I would like to visit the Palestinian refugees’s camp.
Wifey: I’d like to. But I have one request though.
Me: Dear, for you, anything.
Wifey: Buy me a boot first.
Me: A boot?
Wifey: Yeah, the one that Norzie* wears when she visited Palestine's neighbours before.

Reason # 2

After watching the 2005 British Grand Pix.

Wifey: I prefer to be second.
Me: Huh.
Wifey: Yeah, they won a crystal trophy**. Isn’t that cool?
Me: And?
Wifey: All my brochures would look nice in that trophy.
Me: Luckily I’m not an F1 driver.

*An anchor lady for Majalah 3, TV3's award winning program
** By being the winner, Montoya 'only' got himself a gold trophy

2005-06-27T10:25:00.000+08:00

20 June 2005, 07:15 PM

I lost my loving father. He has passed away at the age of 55 after having a stroke. He was the best person I’ve ever known and will be sorely missed by all of us.

I love you Ayah.

Al-Fatihah. May Allah blessed him and granted him peace in this world and the next.

2005-06-17T10:51:00.000+08:00

Everybody knew that Marion (8TV Quickie) has a crush on Horatio (CSI Miami).

Yesterday evening.

Wifey: Marion really likes Horatio didn’t she.
Me: Who won’t. I think even men want to be like him. He’s so composed.
Wifey: That’s why I think she’s not suitable with Adam. He’s so childish.
Me: Dear, he is still young.
Wifey: I don’t know, I think Marion should’ve partnered with someone else.
Me: Do you think that I’m her type?
Wifey: Keep your nose clean will you.

Teasing her has become my favorite pastime. I just couldn’t help it.

2005-06-15T17:17:00.000+08:00

I heard a joke about ‘Jalan Sehala’ before and I thought it’s quite lame. But I had changed my perspective yesterday.

Okay, before that let me introduce two main characters in this story. Ron and Arjun. Ron is a British and he’s very trendy. Last weekend he went shopping with Arjun, an Australian. Came lunch, they decided to go their own way.

At one point Ron felt like he’s done shopping and want to go back to the hotel. He called Arjun.

Ron: Where are you? I want to go home.
Arjun: I’m at Jalan Sehala.
Ron: Okay, I think I saw that road already. Where are you?
Arjun: Come on, you must be joking. There is nobody here.
Ron: I’m right next to the sign.
Arjun: So am I.
Ron: What??

Later that day, they found out that ‘Jalan Sehala’ is indeed a one-way road.

Ron shared his story with us yesterday. I think he’s telling us the truth.

He didn’t even bat his eyelids.

2005-06-14T13:58:00.000+08:00

On our way to lunch, we bump into a girl in one junction. She was driving a black CLK and doesn’t want to give way to Chris*. Though Chris was on the main road, she kept moving.

Chris: She’s a skilled negotiator. She’s smiling and keeps on moving.
Me: It’s more like a smug to me.
Chris: Now I hate you.
Me: I thought you always hate me.
Chris: Now I hate you more.

Trust me guys, she’s not smiling at all. It’s more like she was saying, “there’s no way I want to let you guys to go first”.

Chris, move on.

*He’s driving the car at that time.

2005-06-14T11:31:00.000+08:00

Thought this might lighten your mood. Received this on my mailbox this morning. What a witty way to start the week huh?

The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing of one letter, and supply a new definition.

Here are this year's {2005} winners:

1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.
2. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole.
3. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it, was your money to start with.
4. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
5. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stop bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
6. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.
7. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
8. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.
9. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
10. Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.
11. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit)
12. Karmageddon: its like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.
13. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
14. Glibido: All talk and no action.
15. Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
16. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
17. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
18. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.

Your body is a wonderland

2005-06-14T10:23:00.000+08:00

Ahmad Firdaus
Originally uploaded by faizall.

Ahmad Firdaus was born on Sunday the 5th, six weeks before he was supposed to due. It was a natural birth. Compare to his friends, other premature babies, he is quite big (and strong). Alhamdullillah, after a week in hospital he and his mom were discharged yesterday.

Welcome to the world my son. I hope you will love us (Ayah and Mama) as much as we love you. Touching, kissing and holding you close at night has brought joy to our lives. Thank you son.

2005-06-02T09:56:00.000+08:00

Chris dropped his phone in the bus while coming to work this morning. Okay here is some background, for the past 2 years Chris has stayed in the same hotel and he has used the hotel’s transportation ever since.

Chris: Hi, I’m Chris from room xxx.
Hotel: Yes, what can I do for you sir?
Chris: I need your favor. I think I have dropped my mobile in the bus this morning. Can you check it for me?
Hotel: We will do that sir. We will call you once we found it.
Chris: Thanks. One question, how are you planning to do that?
Hotel: We got your mobile’s number sir.
Chris: But then, you also got my mobile, remember?

2005-06-01T16:18:00.000+08:00

I am glad that Paul Moss is still one of the judges in Malaysian Idol’s new season. Paul tells the contestants the whole truth, which is the most fucking important. If one day I opt to go for the audition (which I doubt so), I will practice what I have learned just recently, selective hearing. To me, Paul’s comments are the only thing that’s matter. If he tells me that I’m shit, then I will take it as a man and get off the stage.

As for Fauziah Latiff (Jee), I knew that she could always find something good to say about me. She has that ability. If she has to, she'll go as far as saying that I am tall, and that's about it. What she says means nothing.

Roslan Aziz in the other hand is so not consistent with his comments. Period.

The only person that I care about is Paul, because when he says that I am good, it actually means something.

2005-05-30T14:55:00.000+08:00

National Space Agency's secretariat just confirmed that I am still in the running to become Malaysia’s first astronaut.

Now I hope the government initial plan to bring our foods to outer space would not become a reality.

2005-05-27T16:27:00.000+08:00

Dear Yoda*,

Since you came on silver screen I've been a big fan of yours. Your capability to trained Jedi for eight centuries is amazing. Your wisdom and experience were legendary. And for a nine hundred years old chap, you are quite cute. Okay, okay. I’ll cut right to the chase and tell you the reason I wrote this letter.

Can I meet you master? If I could only do that, I’d be very happy. I promise I wouldn’t ask for anything else from you. Ever. Please leave a message to let me know when and where you want that meeting to be held.

If this could help you to make the right decision (to meet me), you are my second favorite hero in the whole world. You are just slightly behind Kimberly, the Pink Ranger. Hey, don’t blame me. I grew up watching the (Power) Rangers kicked ass. Almost all my friends like her.

Btw, in case you couldn’t make it, can you send Mace Windu instead? He’s cool.

Your fan,
Faizall

PS: You are real right?

*To non Star Wars fan, Yoda is the ancient and revered Jedi Master.

2005-05-26T10:55:00.000+08:00

The (Proud) Traditions Continued

By the time Benitez's men found sanctuary in their dressing room, Milan were already leading by 3 goals.

Forty minutes later.

With few minutes left to the game, the Liverpool fans were chanting and singing as their players stroked the ball around.

I don’t (want to) know what happened in the dressing room. But, it’s working.

Wifey: Owen is still with Liverpool right?
Me: Not anymore dear. He is with Real now.
Wifey: Hey, that is Beckham’s team. The greatest team in the world.
Me: What makes you to say that dear?
Wifey: They got Beckham aren’t they?
Me: Yeah.
Wifey: That’s my point.

2005-05-20T16:22:00.000+08:00

Why Ali? My Wife Ask Me

Though I really love heist movies and Ocean’s Eleven, I’d rather watch Ali compares to Ocean’s Twelve (anytime). Easily, I can give you 9 reasons why I opted for the former.

1. I really love Will Smith (Will, don’t get it the wrong way, I’m damn straight). He’s cool. He makes stupid movies entertaining (Think Bad Boys and Bad Boys 2).
2. Though it (Ocean's Twelve) had an all-star cast, Will Smith isn’t one of it.

3. Years of screen time been given to Catherine Zeta Jones and Brad Pitt (relationship). Yeah I know, Catherine is sexy and to watch Brad doing the stalking and smooth talking is fun, but that’s not as fun-sexy as learning new thieving skills.
4. Brad Pitt's obsession with his ex-girlfriend, which is not funny.
5. The actual heist. Come on, it can’t be that simple. Seriously, nobody would ever consider putting a priceless object (gold egg) in a backpack and having just two agents guarding and transporting it using public transportation?
6. The actual heist was so bad that Rebecca Loos or Monica Lewinsky’s appearance couldn't even save it.
7. But, their appearance would surely impress Paris Hilton, I would think.
8. The way in which ‘The Night Fox’ got into the museum to steal the gold egg (later, he learned that it’s fake). Come on, it’s really impossible for mankind like us to dance around the museum floor avoiding lots of laser beams that go in a random pattern. But, he did it. Twice. Whoa, he must be somebody from outer space. That makes me wanna call Agent K (Will Smith in MIB).
9. And why would they make the lasers visible to human eye? That’s not right.

So yesterday for the tenth time of my life, I watched Ali.

2005-05-17T13:29:00.000+08:00

In my dream, this bike suits me perfectly.

But after last Sunday*, I am glad I didn’t have a chance to ride on it.

I trust that sight will make my wife to laugh her heart out (I’m fucking thin to start with).

*In reality, the bike is damn huge.

2005-05-13T16:08:00.000+08:00

I hope this entry will make your day as it already made mine. Don’t have a clue on who was the author for this masterpiece, hence no source revealed. One thing for sure, he’s more than a lion. He’s a clown.

1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car w/ sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.
3. Insist that your e mail address is:
a)Xena-Warrior-Princess@companyname.com or
b)Elvis-the-King@companyname.com
4. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
5. Encourage your colleagues to join you in a little synchronized chair dancing.
6. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "IN."
7. Develop an unnatural fear of staplers.
8. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
9. In the memo field of all your checks, write 'for sexual favors.'
10. Reply to everything someone says with, "That's what you think."
11. Finish all your sentences with "In accordance with the prophecy."
12. Adjust the tint on your monitor so that the brightness level lights up the entire work area. Insist to others that you like it that way.
13. Don't use any punctuation
14. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
15. Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.
16. Specify that your drive through order is "to go."
17. Sing along at the opera.
18. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.
19. Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly the same outfits. Wear them one day after your boss does. (This is especially effective if your boss is of the opposite gender.)
20. Send e-mail to the rest of the company to tell them what you're doing. For example, "If anyone needs me, I'll be in bathroom, in Stall #3."
21. Put mosquito netting around your cubicle. Play a tape of jungle sounds all day.
22. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.
23. Call 911 and ask if 911 is for emergencies.
24. Call the psychic hotline and don't say anything.
25. Have your coworkers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Hard.
26. When the money comes out of the ATM, scream "I Won!", "I Won!" "3rd time this week!!!"
27. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling "Run for your lives, they're loose!"
28. Tell your boss, "It's not the voices in my head that bother me, its the voices in your head that do."
29. Tell your children over dinner. "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."
30. Every time you see a broom, yell "Honey, your mother is here!"

Have a nice weekend everyone.

2005-05-06T14:46:00.000+08:00

This is amusing.

Since being introduced on Jan 1, diesel quota system has caused severe shortages of the fuel in the country and has hurt honest dealers along the way. That was 4 months ago.

The Minister of Domestic Trade and Consumer Affairs said the root cause of the shortages is ‘smuggling’. What he fails to tell us is why the problem has not being fixed. He also has the cheek to say that he’s doing a good job and this is how we really should run the country*.

I don’t think so.

Lo and behold, this came from the same man that comes with a brilliant strategy to curb the crisis - use another months' (May and June) quota.

To me the quota system shouldn’t be there in the first place. But he knew better. He even got his pay increase approved in the Parliament earlier last month. In my current job, it can only mean one thing; jobs well done.

We’ve also experienced the third (petrol and diesel) price increase in 12 months time.

Come on. Make up your mind.

*Source: Bernama.com, April 27

2005-04-18T10:52:00.000+08:00

“That’s a sexy laptop you got there,” said Atiqah (while pointing to the iBook on Ashan’s table).
Ashan was grinning, “You guys hear that?” He paused. “Where’s Chris when we need him the most? I prefer he hear this at first hand.”
“It suitable for the ladies,” she added.

2005-04-14T11:30:00.000+08:00

Case 1

“I’m so in need for a haircut today, it’s messy,” Chris said.
“Glad you noticed,” was my immediate response.
“I’ve created a monster here.”

Case 2

The printer cartridge seems to not working out well after one week in action.

“What have you done Faizal?” my boss was asking.
“It was a team effort Puan, me and Chris.”
“Enlighten me on that.”
“I took the cartridge out from the box. He pulled the string off the cartridge. Then, I put the cartridge into the printer. Walla, it’s working well. Okay, at least for one week.”
“He’s monster in the making, I wonder from whom he learned all this,” while looking directly at Chris.

There's so much respect in this room (my boss and teammates were all quite sensible). Hence, we are allowed to make jokes of each other. Maybe we appeared rude to certain people (who can’t accept the jokes we made), on which I apologize.

Well, at least I’m not the one who approves my own pay rise*.

*MP’s 10 percents pay rise, which is still not enough according to some of them. Mind you, they just received a pay rise 2 years ago.

2005-04-05T17:15:00.000+08:00

Today, my boss treats us for a lunch. Hailam chicken rice, to be exact.

“Please help yourself, but remember not to take the box with chicken breast inside, that’s for Michelle,” she said.
“Okay.”

10 minutes later.

“Oh shit, I ate the chicken breast.”

Now, I wish I didn’t come to work today.

Message to the boss
I really need a holiday to improve my short-term memories, and a short trip to Bali would be great at this time of the year. Fortunately, it was only Michelle’s portion. I really can’t predict the future; it scares me to hell to think that I might go after a bigger thing next time around (your foods perhaps). For mankind, please approve my leave application.

2005-03-29T18:48:00.000+08:00

I just had a time of my life in Kuching. After one week in that place, I don’t want to go home. The Sarawak’s cultural treasures are just fascinating. I bought a couple of mats and other home decor items during the trip, which contributes to my current health condition, a sore neck. Mind you, by putting my wife in the equation, things narrowed down to the biggest, the widest and the longest. Hence, we got ourselves two very heavy mats.

I really thought that all the purchases would entitle me for a free massage session from the wife. I thought wrong.

I’m still eagerly waiting for that session though*.

*A hint to this blog’s biggest fan, my wife.

2005-03-22T17:47:00.000+08:00

My Best Friend’s Wedding

Aida, your wedding itself was just beautiful. You both really look great together.

The hall was perfect. I know how hard you must have worked to get it ready. But, it was all worth it Aida. It was beautiful and I’m glad I got the chance to share it with you guys, the happiness that is. I am on cloud nine.

Now, I don't want to come down.

To the best lawyer in the whole world, congratulations on your wedding. May the best day of your past be the worst day of your future.

”To get the full value of joy, you must have somebody to share it with.” – Mark Twain

2005-03-18T10:58:00.000+08:00

Received this interesting quiz in my mailbox this morning. I’m enjoying myself doing it and I guess you guys might like it too. Have fun.

THE WORLD'S EASIEST QUIZ

1) How long did the Hundred Years War last?
2) Which country makes Panama hats?
3) From which animal do we get catgut?
4) In which month do Russians celebrate the October Revolution?
5) What is a camel's hair brush made of?
6) The Canary Islands in the Pacific are named after what animal?
7) What was King George VI's first name?
8) What color is a purple finch?
9) What country do Chinese gooseberries come from?
10) How long did the Thirty Years War last?

ANSWERS

1) 116 years, from 1337 to 1453.
2) Ecuador.
3) From sheep and horses.
4) November. The Russian calendar was 13 days behind ours.
5) Squirrel fur.
6) The Latin name was Insularia Canaria - Island of the Dogs.
7) Albert. When he came to the throne in 1936 he respected the wish of Queen Victoria that no future king should ever be called Albert.
8) Distinctively crimson.
9) New Zealand.
10) Thirty years, of course. From 1618 to 1648.

See. I told you.

2005-03-17T12:29:00.000+08:00

Thanks to our Penang’s trip, now I’m 3* kg heavier. The island sure served us with good foods. Not to mention all the midnight snacks and heavy breakfasts. My food intakes (the frequency that is) during my days in boarding school are nothing compares to this. In Jasin**, we only ate 5 times per day.

Message to the foxy lady
Where’s my running shoe dear? I need to look good for my best friend’s wedding.

*Okay, maybe less than that. I’m exaggerating here.
**MRSM Jasin

2005-03-11T15:43:00.000+08:00

I met one software vendor’s manager in the elevator this morning. In her hand, there was three ‘For Dummies’ books.

“What is that?”
“This is for your CIO. I thought she might like it.”
“That’s pretty interesting client management’s strategy. Telling our CIO she’s a dummy,” I teased her.
She looks uneasy, “I had one myself. It’s really a good book.”
“Now, it’s getting more and more interesting. You admit that you are a dummy.”
“You can have one yourself if you like.”

2005-03-09T12:31:00.000+08:00

Just now I received a call from an unfamiliar number.

“Hey, it’s me,” I heard my wife’s voice.
“Yes.”
“I forgot to bring my phone to work today, my reminder failed to alert me.”
“It’s okay dear, just be careful. By the way, you have a reminder?”
“You are my reminder. Clearly it’s inefficient this morning.”

And I thought I’m always inefficient. :)

2005-03-09T12:05:00.000+08:00

Early this morning, I saw Chris cleaning up his table. Strange. He never did that. Nor he will.

“What’s with all this?”
“He’ll have a meeting with TA* today,” Ashan** says.
“No wonder.”

TA arrived.

“Hey, look at Michelle’s table. What a mess huh?” Chris says.
“It’s okay. I used to have a working table as wide as your four tables combined. I filled it up in 20 minutes.”
“But isn’t that the cleanliness always being associated with whether you are successful or not in life. My table is clean,” Chris said with proud impression.
“That hypothesis is wrong then.”

Anyway, today I cleaned up my table. Chris influenced me to do that.

Bad Chris.

*Member of the Board of Directors.
**Business consultant that work with my company. Used to be a doctor. Medical doctor, that is.

They say people dream in black and white

2005-03-07T17:18:00.000+08:00

My foxy lady bought the said mean machine's yesterday. Mentioned that I wouldn't get any birthday presents from her for another ten years. Right on. Now, I only wish that I could rode her for thousand kilometers (at least) before coming to work today.

Didn't manage to do that though.

I woke up before the test-drive session could take place.

2005-03-02T16:45:00.000+08:00

On the way to lunch just now I noticed a car with one really cute bumpersticker.

The Earth is full - Go home

Nice. It reminds me of alien abductions mini-series, “Taken”. You guys should watch this series if there’s 10 hours to spare, with no good books to read and no wife to tease because she’s having a netball games in Sabah.

This movie spans five decades and four generations. And, it’s really good. Dakota Fanning’s* performance in this movie is undeniably great. I watch this series three times**. Not that I'm counting.

*Wifey, can we have her as our daughter? She’s cute (think “Man on Fire”).
**Obviously, I had 30 hours to spare. Lucky me.

2005-02-24T15:15:00.000+08:00

Knowing that I’ll have a meeting with one of the company’s lawyer today. My wife and me had this conversation this morning.

“When will you meet him?”
“The him is a her actually. I’m meeting her this afternoon.”
“Be good huh, don’t be naughty.”
“Are you jealous my dear?”
“No.”

I noticed she sulked right after that.

“Don’t you worry dear, I only love you.”
“Thank you.”
“Okay, okay. You and Misha Omar.”

Message to my wife:

Sorry dear. It’s just that annoying you is my favorite pastime. Having said that, would I still be getting a ticket to watch Misha Omar, which you promised to give me last week?

2005-02-23T14:32:00.000+08:00

Last night I had an opportunity to watch ‘Torque’ (bikers movie ala The Fast And The Furious) with my wife.

Having said that, it’s a bad story (getting more ridiculous as it goes along) that being made worse by bad execution (bad special effects to start with). The least they could do was try to be more original. To quote what my wife was saying: Cartoon.

Lucky for me, it’s a ten ringgit’s DVD.

2005-02-21T11:40:00.000+08:00

Yesterday afternoon, on our way to my uncle’s house.

“Would you still love me now that I’m older,” my wife asked me.
“I like older women.”
“Hmmph. I’m not that old right?”
“No dear, you look younger than your age. People won’t know that you’ve already 23. They thought you are 19.”
“Really?”
“Really.”

Then, she overheard one particular song being played in the radio.

“Nowadays, a lot of our new singer sang exactly like Siti Nurhaliza. Nothing’s new in their singing style,” she said.
“Dear, that’s Siti.”

True enough the DJ then mentioned that singer’s name.

“How in the world did you know all about this?”
“Lucky guess.”
“Yeah right.”
“Now I hate you.”

2005-02-14T16:17:00.000+08:00

I think it’s only appropriate to start a year* with a joke. And, superheroes jokes always fascinates me, they always do. So, here’s one of the jokes (being forwarded to my mailbox this morning). Enjoy.

Superman was bored fighting crime everyday. So, one Friday night he decided to go out on the town to have some fun. He drops by Batman's house. "Hey Batman", he says "Wanna go out tonight?"

"No, I can't, the batmobile is broken and I gotta stay home and fix it, or else I won't be able to fight crime."

"You loser," says Superman, and he flies away.

He decides to stop by Spiderman's house. "Hey, Spidey, how about hitting the town tonight, you and me," he says.

"I'd love to, but I can't," replies Spiderman. "My web is broken and I gotta fix it to fight crime."

Superman all disgusted, says, "You loser. Stay at home on a Friday night and fix your damn web".

So he flies away. While flying from up above he spots Wonder Woman stark naked and lying down on her back spread-eagled. Superman thinks, "Hey, I am Superman, I can fly down there at the speed of light, have a quickie and back out. She won't even feel it."

Superman flies down, does a quick in-out-in-out and flies out at the speed of light.

"What the hell was that?" said Wonder Woman.

"I don't know" said the Invisible Man, "but it hurt like hell."

*This year we celebrated Chinese New Year and Maal Hijra at almost the same day.

2005-02-04T17:06:00.000+08:00

It starts with one teacher asking a group of student to make one sentence that has the same meaning with “Billy owned a watch but not anymore, he lost it”. Jenny and Jack come out with different answers.

Jenny: Billy had had a watch.
Jack: Billy had a watch.

The teacher liked Jenny's answer.

Below is the sentence being used in the previous blog entry. Thanks to Jordan, this time it comes with single quotes on it. :)

Jenny, where Jack had had ‘had’, had had ‘had had’; ‘had had’ had had the teacher’s approval.

There you go, grammatically correct sentence.

2005-02-04T13:31:00.000+08:00

My English teacher once showed to me that we could get grammatically correct sentence with 11 "had" in one line.

Jenny, where Jack had had had, had had had had; had had had had the teacher’s approval.

Weird huh?

Think about it.

2005-02-02T14:10:00.000+08:00

Today’s my wife 23rd birthday (Few years ago, on her 23rd birthday, she decided to stop growing. It’s always two big candles and three smaller candles being lit on her birthday cakes ever since.)

To the most gorgeous babe on earth, Happy birthday.

You rock my world.

2005-01-28T17:09:00.000+08:00

5 Ways To Spend Your PTPTN Loan

1. Plan a field trip for you and your course mates, with you bearing all the charges. The destination: National Zoo. They got giraffes there and I’m sure you guys will have the time of your life visiting the giraffes. Giraffes are the best. They’re tall.
Fun Factor: Stand beside the giraffe and ask your course mates to take your picture. Then, send the pictures taken to me. I’m gonna put it in my blog. It gonna be fun.

2. Plan a birthday party; it doesn’t have to be your birthday or anybody’s birthday. At McD’s counter, pick few peoples randomly while they are queuing. Ask them to join your birthday party. Some of them wouldn’t get along with your request, never mind, just get hold the next person in line. When they are all there and ready, start ordering your food. Make sure that you only order food for you and you only. For the fun of it, make it happy meal. They come with toy.
Fear factor: Beware of the clowns. They are scary.

3. Pretending that you are Mr. Tom Hanks in the movie ‘The Terminal’. Try to re-live that experience. Go to KLIA, they got Burger Kings in level 3 (that’s where you going to spend some of your money). Pretending that you don’t have the money and the only way you can only eat at the Burger King’s by pushing a certain amount of trolleys.
Fun factor: I’m sure there are a lot of trolleys outside the airport, but you can’t go out from the airport, remember? So start imagining that there’s a guard guiding all the exit doors. So, for this exercise you can only push the trolleys inside the airport.

4. Buy the giraffe. The small one will do. Cute little giraffe is cute and fun to be with. To capture the moments perfectly, hire professional photographer.
Fun factor: See point number 1.

5. Call all the media and Jeff Ooi, you are going to make Malaysia longest popiya (one of Malaysian famous delicacy).
Fun factor: This is the most expensive activity so far. This way you can finish up the money faster than you ever thought.

Take care dude. But before that don't forget that ten percents of the money is mine. Consultation fee. Have fun with the giraffe though.

This going to be fun

2005-01-28T16:25:00.000+08:00

Somebody actually googled this and been directed to my blog. Poor thing. But, don't you worry dude, I'm honoured and would love to teach you on how to spend your money.

It's going to be fun. Promise.

2005-01-26T13:09:00.000+08:00

Yesterday, while you are working*.

Wifey: Is 80 km/h in bike and 80 km/h in car covers the same distance?
Me: That’s why I love you dear.

Sorry dear, I can’t help myself from rolling-while-laughing-hysterically on the bed right after that statement. I just can’t.

Okay, okay. I can but I won’t.

*It’s proven that Selangor do have more leaves compared to other states.

2005-01-20T14:52:00.000+08:00

Yesterday afternoon I received one notebook from the vendor (Which I find it’s unnecessary to mentioned their name). There’s a picture of Tiger Wood swinging his club while gritting his teeth on the front page of that book. Nice, but what interests me more is their catchy tag line.

There comes a time when execution is more important than theory.

Go on. Be a Tiger.

Very nice, but I don’t want to be a tiger. I want to be a lion.

Can I be a Lion instead?

2005-01-13T18:11:00.000+08:00

Thanks to TNB for a very dark* start of 2005.

What a way to start a year.

*Another infamous National blackout?

2005-01-13T09:21:00.000+08:00

Yesterday, after scanning my baby.

Doc: Your baby is healthy. Since this is your second time (We lost one last September), be extra careful will you?
Wifey: Sure doc, I will. When I’m supposed to due Doc?
Doc: This July. July the 13th to be exact. Is there anything else?
Wifey: There's one thing that concerned me though, sometimes, I do hear winds blowing on my right ears.
Doc: Are you sure what you heard is winds blowing instead of peoples talking? If the latter happens to be the case, I need to send you to different kind of doctor.
Wifey: Hehe. You’re funny doc.

Alhamdullillah. God willing, I’m gonna be a father in 6 months time. For me, nothing can beat what I feel right now.

Nothing.

2005-01-11T15:06:00.000+08:00

For Chris, the first thing he did when stepping into any cars is reaching for its seat belt's.

“Damn, there’s no seat belts at the back.”
“I took it off," Ms R* answered.
“Did you know that there’s a purpose for every invention, it (seat belts at the back seats) will save the front passengers life when accidents occur.”
“Yeah right.”

In the Giant’s parking lot, she starts to overtake cars.

Now I’m concerned.

Overtaking cars in parking lot is not a very nice thing to do. You gonna get killed driving like that in Sydney.

*Ms R is my colleague.

2005-01-07T14:58:00.000+08:00

Explorace All Stars being screened last night. They partnered the TV personalities with corporate figures. So, we got Harith Iskandar being coupled up with someone from Goodyear, Umi Aida with one TV3 guy and Selina (3R) with Capt. Nik from MAS.

Me: In five years, give me another five years dear and I’m gonna represent MAS for this All Stars thing.
Wifey: Mmmph. (Concentrating on the show instead)
Me: I wonder who will partner me then. Misha Omar will be nice. (It will be great actually)
Wifey: What are you saying?
Me: I said that I would like to participate in this game, partnering Misha Omar in five years time. (Now I got her full attention. Hehe)
Wifey: Emmm, okay.
Me: Okay??? That’s it. Aren’t you jealous dear?
Wifey: Nop. Why should I? I’m gonna run side by side with you guys if that thing become materialized.
Me: Team of three. That’s impossible.
Wifey: Nothing’s impossible dear. Now, watch the show.

The outcome of that show, a very very sad day for Mr. Harith.

2005-01-07T10:39:00.000+08:00

Chris came back from his holiday yesterday.

The first thing he did this morning is to tease Michelle by playing The Beatles song. And now we all knew the lyrics by heart.

“Michelle, ma belle.
These are words that go together well,
My Michelle.”

Next thing on our list is to invent a dance move that can go together with the song.

Poor Michelle.

2005-01-06T17:21:00.000+08:00

Ms. R and Mr. L*,

Please think deep (deeper!!) before asking me any question. Answering stupid questions do pissed me off. I hate doing that. Really. I’m quite angry and about to turn green anytime soon. Have you ever heard of the great green monster** from Marvel Comic Book? I can become one. Minus the color, the size and the strength. And one more thing, asking the same question over and over again is not fun.

Eating's fun. Playing football's fun. Hang out at Mamak’s fun (Oh wait, I've covered that in "Eating is fun"). Same question over and over again, not fun.

Thank you very much. I had the time of my life.

Angry-Lion.

*My colleagues and ironically they are both from the same U.
**The Incredible Hulk

2005-01-05T10:18:00.000+08:00

Judging by the way we played last weekend, it amazed me that we only conceded 4 goals in second half (alone!)* of the game. Guys, for ‘Malaysia Boleh’ sake, you should let them score more. And then, maybe, maybe you all can be included in our Guinness book of record.

*Malaysia lost to Indonesia 4 goals to 1 in Bukit Jalil (Tiger Cup semi-final)

2005-01-03T10:48:00.000+08:00

Things I learned on New Year’s Eve.

1. There’s no real celebration this year (Even if there’s any, I feel it's very wrong for me to celebrate new years with the current event going on). Thinking that people will stay at home due to that cancellation, I’m off to TESCO buying present for my one-year-old nephew. Wrong move. TESCO was jam-packed with people that night; make it difficult for me roaming for present.
2. Buying more than 10 items* doesn’t help either. Another half an hour’s gone queuing. Yay. Go me.
3. Winnie The Pooh and Disney’s Mickey Mouse (plus other unpopular brands) have something in common when producing Mini Baby Pool. They put this kind of scenario (on their boxes)– baby in the pool, accompanied by ‘hey-look-I-didn’t-look-like-a-mother-at-all-but-heck-who-would-mind-when-I-got-these-36D-things-on-me-currently’ posing in the background. The ‘mother’ took more space than the poor baby and pool combined.

Anyway, my new year’s resolution is to spend more time with my family and friends. To appreciate them more and to be the very best friend my wife had ever have. I believe, nothing is more devastating than losing our loved ones.

Happy 2005 from my foxy lady and me! Take care guys.

* There’s a special queues for people buying less than 10 items.

2004-12-29T09:17:00.000+08:00

Being outside Ring of Fire, I never thought Malaysia will be affected by the earthquake. I was wrong.

Northern states (Penang and Kedah especially) is badly affected by the oceanic torrent after a magnitude 9.0 earthquake off Sumatra on Sunday. That was hundreds miles away. Read somewhere that it takes 2 and half hours after the super earthquake before the tidal waves reached Malaysian coasts.

2 and half hours.

What happened to all the warning systems. Don’t tell me that Malaysia don’t have those. Please don’t tell me that.

I know this type of events is not that easy to forecast.

I know that.

That’s where the words “Preventive Maintenance” came into the picture.

My prayers are with the victims and their family. May God bless their soul.

How I wish I was right.

2004-12-24T11:33:00.000+08:00

Admit it guys. We all know that Ronaldinho was robbed. Being robbed of his European Best Player 2004 award (No doubt he won FIFA World Player 2004 award, but it’s a different issue altogether). With a permanent smile in his face, he’s definitely one of the most effective strikers in Europe. What makes him different from others is the fact that he played entertaining football. Spectacular football. Period.

2004-12-21T14:44:00.000+08:00

In the car on the way back from lunch, Michelle said to Chris that she would like to stop for petrol.

Chris: What’s your preference?
Michelle: Shell.
Chris: BP’s the best, we shouldn’t settle for second best.
Michelle: Yeah right.
Chris: Right. My mom said so.

It’s quite subjective and hard to distinguish which petrol’s the best. Nobody knows. But, I do know beyond reasonable doubt that somebody’s going back to his hometown tonight to meet his mommy.

Merry Christmas man.

2004-12-21T13:04:00.000+08:00

It’s pity for us, mankind, to deals with all the craps and bureaucracies when all that she wanted to do is to generate thinking capabilities in us, the viewers.

Read here for a better picture.

I don't understand Malaysian Censorship Board. They had some kind of double standard when dealings with intellectual properties. If it's local productions, they will surely and happily impose a lot of cuts to the film. If it's international, it's a different picture altogether.

I'm so sorry to hear that Yasmin. Some people seem to be inconsiderate.

And unappreciative, for that matter.

2004-12-20T15:31:00.000+08:00

Chris cut his hair.

Chris: It’s already 11 AM, yet, nobody commented on my new look.
Me: In Malaysia (he’s Australian by the way), if the guys or girls had a great haircut, people acknowledge by saying “What a nice haircut you had there.”
Chris: Ah ha.
Me: Second category, bad haircut. People either keep their mouth shut or saying, “You cut your hair do you?” with mischievous look on their face. Maybe you felt in that type of category.
Chris: You mean.

By the way, there’s nothing wrong with his haircut. He looks great.

2004-12-16T13:29:00.000+08:00

For the past one month, I rode my bike to work. Old 80 cc Suzuki. Though I have a car and my wife been nagging over and over again asking me to drive the car to work, I just failed to comply. It’s just that it’s more convenience and stresses free this way.

Bad weathers while riding the bike is tolerable.

Jam in Federal Highway, intolerable.

One wise man once said to me, “If you’re thinking of getting yourself a bigger bike, you better rides this bike (my bike) everyday, even on worst condition. Be it bad bike condition or bad weather. By doing that, it’s much easier for you to present your case to your wife (ask for the permission) whenever there’s an urge to buy bigger bike in the future".

Early next year, I’m going to upgrade it into one of those 110 cc Yamaha. I’ve yet to decide on which model. The thought of it already makes me happy. Very happy.

Sir, I’ve followed your advice, but, judging from the current pace, I believe it’s going to takes me another 20 years before I can get my first KTM.

2004-12-16T09:38:00.000+08:00

Makes me wonder what's in the ang pow really.

2004-12-15T14:55:00.000+08:00

These being excerpted from a VISA brochure:

Spend a minimum of RM80 on your VISA card in a single receipt at Carrefour and you’ll receive a Mystery Gift*! You can also get limited edition VISA ang pow packets** in January!

*Limited to 4,000 gifts per day. **While stocks last.

True enough, I get one packet of CINTAN instant noodles.

Very mysterious indeed.

2004-12-14T17:30:00.000+08:00

Zul, our recruitment and selection manager couldn’t make it on the appointment dates proposed by us. For the next three days he will be in Langkawi on duty travel.

Zul: I couldn’t make it on the proposed dates and time given.
Me: After 5:30 is fine with me Sir.
Zul: There's one problem though. I’m in Langkawi for the next few days. Duty travel. Unless you both want to come here, I’m afraid I can only meet you guys up this Friday afternoon. Why don’t we meet up this Friday, 5:30 perhaps?
Me: I'm okay with that timing, but I'm afraid Michelle couldn't make it. I think I'll let her explain and pass the phone to her if you don't mind.
Zul: Okay.

At this juncture, I passed the phone to Michelle.

Michelle (my colleague): Afraid I couldn’t make it that evening Sir. Got a meeting in Singapore that day. The flight will touchdown KLIA around 6:15.
Zul: 7 PM then?
Michelle: Okay. Faizal and me will be there at 7.
Zul: Ask Faizal to come over at 5:30. After 6 PM, things kind of spooky here.
Michelle: Okay.

Michelle, we should meet him up in Langkawi.

2004-12-13T16:48:00.000+08:00

My previous blog entry deemed some kind of explanation perhaps. :)

It's kinda funny actually.

The first boy got into the car. Sat beside my wife.

The second boy opened the door (at the back of my car). Saw a box (which blocked his way into the car). Saw an empty seat beside the box. Thinking on seating on that empty seat. Closed the door. Making his way to another door when my wife revved the engine and off she went.

The first boy shocked.

The second boy shocked.

My wife shocked (too), but only after her arrived at the drop off area.

2004-12-10T09:25:00.000+08:00

My wife loves to give strangers a lift. She’s the one that thought that everybody could be trusted.

One day, she saw two male students walking towards MU. By the way, she’s working in that university and currently we are staying in the quarters just outside the campus.

She gave them a ride. One of the boys took his place on the front seat. While the other open the rear door of the car and then closed it.

My wife took them (at least she think of) to their designated faculty, only to found out later (way later, she’s already arrived in that faculty) that one of them is not in the car. He asked the boy in front seat, “Where’s your friend?”

He said that the other boy’s on the way to another door (opposite the one that he opened and then closed) when my wife starts to move and then revved the car. He (the lucky boy) was numb by that incident (my wife left without his friend on the car), but he didn’t say anything (maybe thinking that my wife’s planned all this).

She then saw (or shall I say, noticed) a box on the backseat on that side of the door (the one that been opened and closed by that boy). No wonder that boy thought of getting into the car trough another means (this case, another door).

Poor boy.

P/S: Wife dearest, please be extra careful next time. Not everybody can be trusted these days.

2004-12-02T14:34:00.000+08:00

Coming back from lunch just now, Chris caught us entering our room and asked the three of us (me and my two colleagues) to follow him. By the way, Chris is the consultant working in the project I’m in now. He’s an expatriate from Australia. He’s a nice guy. He’s quite mean with his words, but we really can’t argue with his points. His knowledgeable and well read. The strong logic in him is undeniable.

Okay, back to the story, he brought us all to the pantry. And then we watched him making his coffee before he brought us back to our project room.

Asked by us, what’s the reason of all this (to walk with him four floors up and then down), he simply said, “I’ve told Michelle that I’ll be back before they all do”.

Michelle is my team member.

2004-12-02T10:11:00.000+08:00

He did it again. I didn’t believe this coming and I’m shocked.

Below article is being excerpt from yesterday’s newspaper (The Malay Mail, December 1, 2004).

Body language specialist Jackson Yogarajah has come out with a new book on detecting lies and deception – with a case study of the Sharifah Aini interview he saw on TV.

"My book details everything and on how I came to the conclusion that Sharifah was telling the truth. This could exonerate her.”

“Police officers, especially those who have attended my courses, could use it as a reference book,” he said.

"It could save organisations and the country millions by being able to detect lies and deception."

By the way, the title of that book is "55 Reasons Why Sharifah Aini Was Not Faking It", and it's slated for release by the end of the year.

Mr. Jackson, did you know that this kind of merchandising item would surely affect the outcomes of the court case she’s facing now?

Remember the letter I wrote to him before.

It’s still valid.

2004-12-01T13:29:00.000+08:00

Now, my company is in the verge of upgrading its IT system. So, for the past 2 months we keep on getting a lot of Broadcast messages stating that they will shut off the servers at this time and that time, or reminding us to install new antivirus update whenever there’s virus attack. Every day, they will broadcast something.

Two to four broadcast messages per day.

Today, I received one broadcast message stating that there will be no broadcast message today.

2004-11-29T13:23:00.000+08:00

Pity me, after joining the project team (now, I share the same building with the trainees). Every times I went to the toilet, there’s bunch of stewards wannabe, who’s vain enough to put lip-gloss on their lip in front of everyone else, with the proud expression in their face.

The way they done it, that scares me to hell. If I’m not aware that I’m in the Gents I’m sure thought they are ladies putting lipstick to their lip.

Horror.

Lip-gloss, men and public are not a very nice combination, I shall say.

2004-11-25T09:27:00.000+08:00

Sometimes, funny* thing do happens in Alamanda (new shopping complex in Putrajaya).

Trolley is not allowed inside their Pizza Hut outlet. Late yesterday afternoon, one young lady left her trolley outside as instructed. There’s a lot of trolley outside the restaurant at that time. After she settled nicely in one of the table inside the restaurant, the waiter start taking her order.

Then she remembered** something. She left her kid in the trolley.

The kid didn’t cry at all. He slept.

* Depends on how we look at things
** To be exact, she saw something

2004-11-23T13:10:00.000+08:00

People should get a full loan if they are studying local. Or better still, a scholarship.

Not a lousy RM 3000 PTPTN loan for a full three years of doing Pharmacist in UiTM. It’s ridiculous. How you can survive with that amount of money these days?

I wonder.

And, she only manages to get that amount after failing to do so in her first and second interviews attempt.

Come on.

To add to that insult, she’s taking Pharmacist, something that needed most in this country. She’s not taking Aeronautical Engineering or courses that wouldn’t be any good to this country. I’ve known a man who did a door design for Boeing for his final year thesis and yet work as an IR executive. And he gets the scholarship for this and happily did his Degree in US. It cost the government more than half a million.

We don’t need a rocket scientist to do that kind of work. We need a good lawyer to do that.

Correct me if I’m wrong. PTPTN come in package with 10 percent interest rate. And then, why can you give her more than RM 3000?

Not enough money. Bullshit.

Okay, she did come from a quite well to do family. I’m sure her father can support her. But it’s her father who’s rich, not her. What happened if one day there’s a rage between both of them?

It sure will affect her studies.

Can’t you think of that Mister?

Maybe you can, if you're not busy playing golf with your director.

2004-11-19T11:44:00.000+08:00

Reading reviews about The Incredibles makes me wanna write about the serious stuff below.

Everyone loves superheroes. Everyone wants to be one. No doubt about that. Even the mighty Hulk Hogan (again, I'm being sarcastic here) wants to be one, one point of his life. Tell me of one person who reached his or her puberty without seeing an episode of Superman and want to be him and lucky enough to have his super powers. I’m sure you want one of his super powers (or, maybe all if you’re greedy like me). His super powers are too good to be true.

1) His x-ray visions
2) The same eyes also can produced a small scale laser effects (how cool is that?)
3) His ability to fly and run like nobody's business
4) His bullets-proof body
5) His strength and power
6) His ability to stay calm and cool while wearing those stupid outfit
7) His Lois Lane

He kicked ass all right.

And then, we also got Batman, Spiderman, Wolverine (cool!) and Wonder Woman. They all kicked ass (not kicking ass per se, but, stopping bad guys that is) and we love to be like them.

Which bring me back to the question above. Who don’t want to be a superhero?

Any taker?

2004-11-18T10:57:00.000+08:00

It’s been jammed all the way from Alor Gajah to Seremban on late Tuesday afternoon. Makes me wanna turn over and take fake mc’s from rural clinic. I hate jam.

The idea that I’m in the highway makes me hate jam even more.

We should at least drive 100 km/hours in the highways. Not a lousy 60 km/hours.

That, if we are lucky.

And yes, I’m not that lucky on that day. It’s hardly reached 20 km/hours for the most part of that said route.

I don’t think there should be a speed limitation in the highways. It’s quite taxing to maintained in the speed limit range while driving. Blame it all to the technologies being installed in nowadays cars. Just one slight push to the accelerator, and off speed limit we went.

I blame it all to technologies.

Typical me.

2004-11-17T11:56:00.000+08:00

Starting next week and for the next six months or so, I’m off to another department to be in their Project team. Being in this kind of team do take a lot of my time. I knew this fact clearly.

My premonition said so.

I’m afraid I wouldn’t have the privileges and chances to religiously post entries or even roam the cyber world like I had now.

It’s hiatus then for this blog. As much as I don’t like others to say those phrases, I hate myself for saying it.

Guys, be good huh.

But, we never know. Maybe it's one of the projects that wouldn't take a lot of my time. The one that is stress-free. The one, which is fun. The one with a lot of duty travels in it. Then, maybe, maybe I'll have more free times then what I had now. Pray for it, will you?

Please.

2004-11-10T09:27:00.000+08:00

Met Sharifah Eja (the actress) in Mid Valley Megamall last Monday. The moment my wife saw her she insisted to talk to her, to shake her hand, to see her, face to face. Eja’s such a down to earth kinda person. Very courteous. Very humble.

My wife gets tongue-tied the whole session with Eja. When asked by me why she’s been acting like that (my wife’s quite outspoken in person), she said that she’s been mesmerized by Eja’s beauty.

“Now, I don’t think I want to wash my hand.”
“Why??”
“I just shook Eja’s hand.”
“Okay.”

My wife doesn’t want to wash her hand, that’s new.