Monday, June 27, 2005

20 June 2005, 07:15 PM

I lost my loving father. He has passed away at the age of 55 after having a stroke. He was the best person I’ve ever known and will be sorely missed by all of us.

I love you Ayah.

Al-Fatihah. May Allah blessed him and granted him peace in this world and the next.

Friday, June 17, 2005

Everybody knew that Marion (8TV Quickie) has a crush on Horatio (CSI Miami).

Yesterday evening.

Wifey: Marion really likes Horatio didn’t she.
Me: Who won’t. I think even men want to be like him. He’s so composed.
Wifey: That’s why I think she’s not suitable with Adam. He’s so childish.
Me: Dear, he is still young.
Wifey: I don’t know, I think Marion should’ve partnered with someone else.
Me: Do you think that I’m her type?
Wifey: Keep your nose clean will you.

Teasing her has become my favorite pastime. I just couldn’t help it.

Wednesday, June 15, 2005

I heard a joke about ‘Jalan Sehala’ before and I thought it’s quite lame. But I had changed my perspective yesterday.

Okay, before that let me introduce two main characters in this story. Ron and Arjun. Ron is a British and he’s very trendy. Last weekend he went shopping with Arjun, an Australian. Came lunch, they decided to go their own way.

At one point Ron felt like he’s done shopping and want to go back to the hotel. He called Arjun.

Ron: Where are you? I want to go home.
Arjun: I’m at Jalan Sehala.
Ron: Okay, I think I saw that road already. Where are you?
Arjun: Come on, you must be joking. There is nobody here.
Ron: I’m right next to the sign.
Arjun: So am I.
Ron: What??

Later that day, they found out that ‘Jalan Sehala’ is indeed a one-way road.

Ron shared his story with us yesterday. I think he’s telling us the truth.

He didn’t even bat his eyelids.

Tuesday, June 14, 2005

On our way to lunch, we bump into a girl in one junction. She was driving a black CLK and doesn’t want to give way to Chris*. Though Chris was on the main road, she kept moving.

Chris: She’s a skilled negotiator. She’s smiling and keeps on moving.
Me: It’s more like a smug to me.
Chris: Now I hate you.
Me: I thought you always hate me.
Chris: Now I hate you more.

Trust me guys, she’s not smiling at all. It’s more like she was saying, “there’s no way I want to let you guys to go first”.

Chris, move on.

*He’s driving the car at that time.
Thought this might lighten your mood. Received this on my mailbox this morning. What a witty way to start the week huh?

The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing of one letter, and supply a new definition.

Here are this year's {2005} winners:

1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.
2. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole.
3. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it, was your money to start with.
4. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
5. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stop bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
6. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.
7. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
8. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.
9. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
10. Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.
11. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit)
12. Karmageddon: its like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.
13. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
14. Glibido: All talk and no action.
15. Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
16. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
17. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
18. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.

Your body is a wonderland

Ahmad Firdaus was born on Sunday the 5th, six weeks before he was supposed to due. It was a natural birth. Compare to his friends, other premature babies, he is quite big (and strong). Alhamdullillah, after a week in hospital he and his mom were discharged yesterday.

Welcome to the world my son. I hope you will love us (Ayah and Mama) as much as we love you. Touching, kissing and holding you close at night has brought joy to our lives. Thank you son.

Thursday, June 02, 2005

Chris dropped his phone in the bus while coming to work this morning. Okay here is some background, for the past 2 years Chris has stayed in the same hotel and he has used the hotel’s transportation ever since.

Chris: Hi, I’m Chris from room xxx.
Hotel: Yes, what can I do for you sir?
Chris: I need your favor. I think I have dropped my mobile in the bus this morning. Can you check it for me?
Hotel: We will do that sir. We will call you once we found it.
Chris: Thanks. One question, how are you planning to do that?
Hotel: We got your mobile’s number sir.
Chris: But then, you also got my mobile, remember?

Wednesday, June 01, 2005

I am glad that Paul Moss is still one of the judges in Malaysian Idol’s new season. Paul tells the contestants the whole truth, which is the most fucking important. If one day I opt to go for the audition (which I doubt so), I will practice what I have learned just recently, selective hearing. To me, Paul’s comments are the only thing that’s matter. If he tells me that I’m shit, then I will take it as a man and get off the stage.

As for Fauziah Latiff (Jee), I knew that she could always find something good to say about me. She has that ability. If she has to, she'll go as far as saying that I am tall, and that's about it. What she says means nothing.

Roslan Aziz in the other hand is so not consistent with his comments. Period.

The only person that I care about is Paul, because when he says that I am good, it actually means something.